tiRamiSu

the best & the worst

2006-10-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

Perhaps silence is the best as no quarrels will be heard.

Perhaps not meeting is good as no fights will be started.

Perhaps pointing out mistake is not such a good act, as it may end up a mistake too.

2006-09-16T02:06:00.000+08:00

You Are: 80% Dog, 20% Cat

You and dogs definitely have a lot in common.
You're both goofy, happy, and content with the small things in life.
However, you're definitely not as needy as the average dog. You need your down time occasionally.

Are You More Cat or Dog?

2006-09-16T01:06:00.000+08:00

I felt the suspicion, i felt the distrust, i felt hurt, i felt helpless. Words sometimes realli cant express ourself thoroughly. Do it by actions. watever actions u feel u need to get that feeling get awae. if its needed, use it.

2006-08-09T15:56:00.000+08:00

If u haf realise, i hadn't spoken a word or even argue back tis time. This situation haf occur so many times. We either end up quarelling or argueing. Its a bad feeling, I dun wan tt. Although tt can help a little which within e short time frame, we'll improve our thinking but its nt a long run solution. I've choosen this wae. I shall let u sae all e things u wan. At least, we wont end up having bad blood.

So wat abt me? I'll get off it fast. Dun worry. I hate doing tt, but I'll.

U do nt understand wat ur daughter has change into n e reason y. Perhaps bcos u're e reason urself. tts y u cant find it.

To Mum

2006-08-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

To Mum:

I cried todae nt bcos of e scolding. i'm not afraid of e scolding when i admit tt i'm at fault. But isn't ur reaction a little too much? u said stuffs tt shouldn't be coming out of ur mouth. u have thots tt shouldn't had crossed ur mind. Or did i didn't know u enuff?

i alwaes tell e truth to u, i make sure i dun lie to u. All i hope in return is e trust tt u can gif. But, is my approach wrong? Should i do e otherwise to get ur trust?

1 mistake of 4getting gt my dae turn bad? izzit onli urs? i tried to redeem myself by offering to go at once. but wat came out of ur mouth?

"i shouldn't have trust u. shouldn't had trust anyone. onli gettig my self into trouble."

I'm realli sorry is wat i can sae. nth much, u had rejected me.

I understand ur life is difficult esp. with this work u r holding on to. Wat abt us? i'm working while i'm studying. The thought of Pei Yun being tired will nt come to ur mind as often. Do u think tt i realli do nth in sch n can b tt energetic every dae, every time, anytime? When it's jux me pretending to be strong?

"Frens alwaes come 1st"
R u realli tt sure tt its my thought? Even my actions had prove tt statement wrong. Family n e family business is alwaes my 1st consideration. Or should i sae its e biggest obstruction in my life?
U may think tt i treat my fren better than any of e family member. yeah. perhaps i did. The reason is so simple cos i wanted to be treated this wae as i treat others. the biggest thing tt can cos sadness in me is my family. when tts e reason, frens will be e one by my side.

"Youngsters this dae is different from e past. Doesnt think for the family. Onli argue with reasons."
i beg to differ. If sister n me had realli been e youngster u said in e statement. this family is already gone long time ago. had it nt been e family ties. sister wouldn't have went back to work for u all after so much of e vicious cycle. *working for u all -> quarrel -> get a job outside -> when u all do nt haf enuff workers, get sister back agn* n e cycle jux goes on n on. u said its so difficult for sis to work, better let her go out n get a job. when u made this sentence, haf u thot abt e past? e vicious cycle tt i have been telling u? Hadn't it bcos of the thot tt both of u r working so hard, sister wouldn't have agreed to go back agn.

Hadn't it bcos of the thinking of e family, i wouldn't have work n study at e same time. Had it nt been e thinking, where would i be now? Striving for future? Taking up more courses? Or anything else, n nt stuck here.

U alwaes tell us ur burden, we tried to think in ur point of view, we tried our best to understand u. but have u ever put in e same amt of effort to understand us? who's my best buddy? what am i exactly studying now? what is my plan for e future? wat's my other plans? u'll nv noe. cos u didnt ask. u didnt bothered.

i envy sis when she can tok to u abt her problem. i tried but i think i shall avoid. Our thinking is 100 miles apart. we'll onli end up argueing. U will nv understand my thinking unless u put urself in my shoe. a 18th yr old gal wif a watever characteristics. Have this sentence crossed ur mind b4? maybe nt.

I learned love, care, concern, family warmth from this family. Either positive or negative side. n nt 4getting sacrifice.
I had sacrifice so many things. It made me feel worthwhile when there's a return by doing tt sacrifice. But at points of time, the return seems to short change making me wonder... is e sacrifice realli worth?

Life's unfair, a thorough round of suffering.

2006-06-12T13:48:00.000+08:00

no matter how independent i tried to be wif my feeling.. e monsters alwaes touch e soft part of me.. i jux want u all to understand tt u all r alwaes at e 1st place in my heart.. no matter how frequent i c other frens... or i may be awae for a week or 2.. u all r alwaes in my heart's 1st place..

To me.. we had reach e stage den i'll miss u all often n things that imet in my daily life, i will lead my thinking to u all.. i jux hope u all noe..

life = torture? / blessing?

2006-05-29T02:30:00.000+08:00

things are crushing down on me.. shld i accept this stress n live on unhappily? or shall i jux throw everything aside n doesnt bother abt anything.. there is this problem when u wanna be independent esp when u're someone who dun show out ur feelings often..

how many times i wish to cry but didnt manage to?
how many times have i wanted to pause everything in life for jux a few mins but i cant?

many times, ppl sae tt i cared too much in others problem. i agreed to it. but anyone thot abt tt when i react this wae is bcos i wan e action to be reciprocate too?

i alwaes tried my best to stand in others position to think abt e situation they r in, i hope to feel e wae they feel, i hope i can encourage them, i hope they can at least haf an accompaniment when they actually need 1, even if i'm onli jux sitting there quietly.

i definitely hope these action can be reciprocated but it jux nv happen.

how many times when i wanted someone to jux lend me a listening ear, i couldnt find 1.
how many times i wanted others to think for me in my position but i didnt get e support.
how many times i wanted to find someone to jux sit there beside me saying nth, jux simple sit beside me n i couldnt find any1.

is there really no one in this world who could do so?

things in life recently are already up to my neck, i realli dunnoe wat to do. n there is this issue my monsters brought up saying tt i'm not spending much time for the blog. it pretty hurt me in a wae. Ya, i admit its my mistake. i neglected e blog. i jux hope tt they could understand n tolerate more. but i oso noe 1 thing tt is hope n reality is far apart. it seems like 1 cant afford to do a slightest mistake or u'll get some crude remarks.

its true tt frens gt to be more frank n direct with each other, but rmb this pt tt we all r human. consider others' feelings or wat they will think after ur remarks is made.

i noe u all for long n i noe u all gd enuff. it is ur characteristic to be frank n direct but i oso noe u gd enuff to spot ur sarcasm.. in frenship, sarcasm is e most imbearable thing n it hurts e most.

this week

2006-03-17T12:18:00.002+08:00

13th mar, mon

My bdae is 24hrs awae!!! wahahaha... i'm turning 18 ya? haha.. -=so happy=-
went out to celebrate my bdae with monsters all.. went to hougang mall... nth much.. maybe due to its renovation bahx.. hope nxt time will be better ya..
went to kovan, heartland mall nxt... meet ht there. finally found a place to eat ^Thai Epress^ haha.. n i onli pay $2 for so many things i ate? haha.. *full* gt alot of present from monsters.. thanks alots... n e dessert after meal.. hope u all like it ya..

it doesnt cost much n can get everyone happy.. so y not? someone said to me b4 "having alot of money will make u happy, tts rite. but if u can share an affordable amount with other ppl, everyone will be happy n it will jux get merrier" i know tt now..

walk ard heartland mall till nth to c le but still dun wana go hm.. so went to chinatown bo liao walk walk.. n e funniest part of this chinatown trip will be e "zheng dian"(according to grace) foreigner le bahx.. hao xin bring them to money changer.. somemore no thank u n walk awae.. nvm... den somemore make us repeat e history.. walk back e same old road agn.. nvm.. later bcum our nitemare tt we even wana run awae from them... haha...

after chinatown, went back home n gt my bdae celebrated with family members.. sista gt a tiramisu from secret recipe as my bdae cake.. nice! n i gt 2 cards from younger sis n an addidas watch from my sista.. so ex.. dun dare to wear sia.. haha...

14th mar, tues.. MY BDAE!!

early morning.. woke up n meet liting at clementi.. took our own sweet time n reach pasir ris at 1? went to bk room.. gt a rm at pasir ris side cos downtown east de fully bked.. no choice lo.. after settling down in e rm.. we set out to escape.. haha.. some games nv open which make e trip bored n e long long queue could make someone's desire to jux drop to e floor n get step a few times.. hot dae n gona line up n wait... haiz.. but nvm, we gt in with each paying $4 onli... haha.. so nt so wasted.. play until like 5+.. went back to rm n do nth... play cards.. had my 1st meal for e dae at 7+ 8.. i'm damn hungry!!! den came my bdae cake from them.. thanks alot.. black forest.. although i dun like e blueberry... haha.. i gt to learn bicycle too... wahahaha.. so happy n excited.. finally noe how to ride a bicycle liao.. but still not v gd in controlling n turning.. need more training... geex..

15th mar, wed

this is e dae we gona take our foot out of this area.. the chalet.. pasir ris.. hmmm.. we morning wake up, den pack pack.. left e rm.. den da yao da pai de wana go mac eat breakfast le.. walk till halfwae, suddenly regina ask "y nv bked out huh?" n it came to my mind.. *where's e key even?* can u imagine tt.. we left e rm without taking e key n even booking out.. haha.. we rush back to get e keys n some went to get e breakfast 1st cos its gona 11 le.. lucky e keys still there... haha..
when everyone going home.. li jun du wana get home so early.. so we went to catch a show "THE SHAGGY DOG" wahahaha.. a gd show to laugh.. pretty nice.. after e show.. realli tired.. wana slp le.. so came home n rested.. but play till 12+am den slp.. haha...

16th mar, thurs..

our monsters gathering dae.. went to carrefour (how do u pronounce that?? haha) bought some things for my sabah trip n finally i found e lady fingers biscuit tt i wan.. so now onli lack of e wine n e marscopone cream.. after e walk at carrefour.. went to tiong eat steamboat.. hmmm.. maybe all e things cook to long le.. e wei dao went into e soup bahx.. it didnt taste as nice as tt time when i went with my sis.. hmmm... actually i think of ordering more de.. but u all full le.. cant accompany me eat.. so jiu suan le lo.. after tt went tiong plaza walk walk.. oso nth much cos most of it closing alreadi.. so we all go hm.. den i went to play pool with jo.. well.. no other thinking.. jux frens ya.. gt home ard 12.. den mum nag n nag.. *didnt my bdae wish sae dun let mum nag so much ma?* alrite.. end of it..

17th mar, now, todae...

early in e morning wake up.. tok to mum abt e genting trip.. her 1st qn for me was "going with girlfren or boyfren?" dotz.. she sae tt dad nv tell her abt it.. so dad, r u jux simply giving me a sentence of "i'll consider" to ignore me n get over it? *angry* so i said to mum "u go tok to him la" n went back to bed.. m her nagging starts agn.. "u nowadays keep going out huh.. then everytime late late come back.. u last time oso nv like tt ar.. on n on.." so i was thinking tt last time y i nv like tt? cos i gona work n study at e same.. if i haf got the time i will surely go out de lor.. u think i dun wan ar.. i consider my going-out-time now is pretty normal among teenagers now especially now is holidaes.. u wan me to coop myself everydae at home n read bks? tts out of the talk... n oso y didnt u trust me "bf or gf?" so i told her "its ht mum brnging us there" after i said this sentence.. i wonder would she had understand me.. i envy u all.. at least ur parents noe who's grace, mingni or ht.. or even e italian gal? e lying down 1? watever.. but even if i sae to my mum.. she dont even haf traces of knowledge abt who r they..

they doesnt noe wat is happening to me.. they doesnt noe who is ard me.. they doesnt noe where i go.. they jux seems to not understand me.. well.. perhaps im at fault.. going out too often.. getting home too late.. watever.. haiz... kor jux msg me.. tts a sudden msg ya.. after i said tt kor n i doesnt contact tt much? alrite.. he asking me whether can go to his chalet on 31st to 1st april.. well.. cant confirm.. its e dae after we come back from genting if its on.. n go out so much.. mum n dad is alreadi making noises le.. somemore i 3rd leaving sing for 2 weeks.. wonder whether will they allow... haiz......................

life

2006-01-11T10:37:00.000+08:00

have u ever hope that u could cry but u can't?
have u ever wish to quit but u didnt?

life is jux another act of vicious cycle.

2005-12-01T11:01:00.000+08:00

What do u think about what a mind could do to a person? Do u believe wat u said can be meant? Could u just put a little more trust n confidence in other? izzit realli tt difficult for u to figure tt a guy n a gal could have jux platonic frenship?

I have a clear cut mind of what i'm doing, what i'm supposed to do, n wat i shld not do. all this r train up by the experiences of my own, others thru out e yrs tt i haf lived, my intuition n my knowledge towards "zhong, yi, xiao"

things tt i dont agree on in the 1st place, i wont do it in end.

it can be describe as a type of stubbornness or even inflexibility. but i think tt its my own principle. PRINCIPLE OF LIFE.

so dont worry abt me doing things tt i had promise not to do. sadly to say, im disappointed to realise tt there just isnt a strong bond of trust or even understanding between us after such a long time n tons of good n bad experiences together.

izzit realli true tt relationship btn ppl r tt shallow?

words for u: things tt r impossible in a person mind will not turn into possible until she changes her mind. things jux gt to be sort out. n i hope u could jux haf more trust n confidence in every1 u noe. i have alwaez tried my best to inform u whenever i'll go out wif him. i think its jux a form of respect for u n a chance for u nt to think too much into it. well, i failed my task. i jux doesnt want to c both of u being so troubled by this. i didnt mean create so much trouble. so sorry.

sudden sentimentation

2005-11-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

feeling drowsy now.. bcos of med? no.. i didnt eat any med at all..

times jux passed us by so fast n silently. its alreadi half wae thru nov of 2005. soon, a new yr's gona begin.
Christmas is coming. its a weird feeling in me. whenever i thot of xmas, a sense of sadness jux surge up in my mind.
izzit bcos it signifies e ending of e yr right b4 us? or something tt r dangling in my brain system? any1 out there could hypnotize me to find out wats in my brain system?

hmmm.. pretty tired this few daes.. the module n project in sch is realli demanding. work this few daes had realli pull my energy level down plus all those cooling, attractive nite had make me felt more close to bed.

i haf been thinking.. things tt i wana achieve is so much but the time tt i haf is so little... *seems like im dying* haha..

i wan myself to do very very well in my accounts module this sem.
passed my seems-impossible-law.
take up LCCI accounting nxt yr n at least get e intermediate cert.
learn a foreign language *thinking of french*
work n earn tons n tons of $$.
travel e world.
study part time psychology course after i graduate.

time is so limiting. cherish now.

Pigeons

2005-11-07T23:31:00.000+08:00

R pigeons' brain too small or r they jux simply too determined?

the stall opposite mine is e soya bean milk *good food for pigeons*

there came 1 pigeon n went into the stall hoping to get some food. but gt shooed out by e aunty. but it was v determined to get his food.. haha.. it went in agn n gt shoo out agn.. this goes on for abt 4 to 5 times... haha.. until e aunty gt no choice n came out of e stall to drive it far far away...

A person mind

2005-11-06T03:36:00.000+08:00

Even the most difficult question in this world has the smartest person to answer it.
Even the most dangerous quest has the most adventurous person to overcome it.
Even the longest run in e world has the most determined runner.

however, even the most understanding person in world won't be able to get to know what's going on in the other person mind..

even wif technology advances, one's mind is jux the hardest to figure. even when u noe that person for long, u could onli guess wat's he or she is thinking n not to noe whether ur guesses will be right or wrong...

happi bdae

2005-11-04T09:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U..

memories tt i would leave

2005-10-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

tze: hey.. still rmb mi ya? mi tze worx.. ke yi de hua den reply mi lo.. jux wanna noe how ya doing.. if cannot den nvm lo.. take care

me: haha.. wat a surprised msg wor.. but it's expected.. mingni told me u ask for my no. le. y suddenly contact me?

tze: ic.. hahax.. dunnoe y oso.. jux wanna noe how ya doing bahx..

me: i'm fine till now.. not yet dead.. wat abt u? having honeymoon period huh? haha..

tze: Grrrl.. no la.. u den honeymoon arhx.. long time nv c u guys le.. how abt meeting up one day?

me: me? honeymoon? think u r more likely to be so.. wana meet us ar? ask e majority 1st lor.. haha..

tze: ok.. i think tts a no.. i mean u three gers la.. i meet the guys gang every sat..

me: yaya.. wat no? dun understand leh.. u talk so chim.. i jux cant catch.. haha..

tze: hahax.. one yr nv c nia dun understand mi le arhx? hahax.. nvm la.. do msgmi more when u free.. still frens.. are we?

me: 1 year nv c den dun understand u meh? i thot i have nv understood u.. haha.. if u had understand me, u shld noe i wont de lo..

tze: k la.. den i pick the wrong time to msg u.. hmmx.. try and let go of the past la.. i haf.. y not u? take care bahx..

me: 4gif is ez but 4get is not. to put down i think i haf done tt by replying jux now. even if there's no past, i wont anyhow msg someone when i'm free.

tze: i c.. ok.. take care bahx.. haf an early nite bahx..

me: u too den

maybe i'm too egoistic? or wat? i would realli love to haf a scenario where he n me can realli be frens.. but i jux cant do tt.. i doesnt want to show tt i have given in.. haiz.. 4get it...

recovering in pro..gress...

2005-10-14T15:03:00.000+08:00

well... thing goes well todae.. we nv quarrel or anything... still fine... recovering in process....

super duper ultra bad dae

2005-10-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

haiz.. i dunnoe wat to do wat to sae...

this afternoon i noe she's unhappi tt we didnt show her e index print so in e end i gave in to her n let her c... i try to do e best to make her happi n buy fruits for her.. help her order things... after tt.. we r fine...

at nite she like weird weird de agn.. jux bcos of tt receipt? jux wana joke with her.. y mux angry leh?

i sae 3 against 1 is bcos we all dun like to drink coffee then y do we wana go tt tcc jux bcos ht suggested it? im against ht lo.. n she thot im against her???

haiz.. perhaps todae is jux an ultra bad dae btn me n her... felt realli sad tt we haf a "wall" btn us..

Keys to ur heart.. true for me...

2005-09-25T02:48:00.000+08:00

***The Keys to Your Heart***
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
http://www.blogthings.com/
keystoyourheartquiz/

VICIOUS CYCLE OF LIFE

2005-09-18T15:59:00.000+08:00

everything is pre-destined. even if u tried hard to change ur destiny, it will just be a temporary change n all will be back to square one again. i've said out all my feelings, shed tears. she've understand or may not understand but she will change for the better n treat me better for this period of time. n as time passes, she will revert back to her old self. n everything will be back to square one. next, i will voice out my unhappiness again n she will treat me better again n then after awhile, it will all revert back. life had alwaez been like tt.

i've lost faith in everything, especially her.

this is the VICIOUS CYCLE OF LIFE.